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Brief commentary on a book which includes a chapter of my own. Written in the late 1990s, my chapter mainly details my experiences with panic disorder prior to PTSD. The commentary featured here was originally written in April, 2000.

Awe and Trembling

"Awe and Trembling; Psychotherapy of Unusual States," is a book which explores the psychological relationship between awe and panic as both functional and non-functional experiences. Edited by E. Mark Stern, EdD, ABPP, and Robert B. Marchesani, MSS, this book presents views from a variety of authors. Perspectives from both psychotherapist and patient are addressed, as well as related perspectives from mythology to chaos theory. This book is also published as a journal called "The Psychotherapy Patient" (Volume 11, Numbers 1 / 2, 1999).

I first became involved with this book in May, 1997. At the time I was undergoing psychotherapy for panic disorder and related depression with my therapist Marie Coleman Nelson. Marie, knowing of my interest in promoting awareness and education of panic disorder, asked if I would be willing to write a chapter for an upcoming book. I was more than happy to participate and promptly began a detailed narrative of my diagnostic, therapeutic, personal and public experiences.

Marie passed away, before the book's completion, at age 82. Consequently, the book is dedicated to her and features her last interview with Mr Marchesani. This interview captures Marie's provocative and insightful character; which I fondly remember from my therapy sessions with her. As I said at her funeral service and on other occasions, she helped me reclaim my desire to live at a time when life seemed worse than death.

Below is a listing of the book's table of contents. Anyone wishing to purchase a copy can do so via the Amazon.Com or Haworth Press web site.
    Table of Contents

  • Introduction: Pan as Myth, Pan as Metaphor: The Psychotherapy Patient's Surprise (Rob Marchesani)

  • The Final Breath: A Tribute to Marie Coleman Nelson (Rob Marchesani)

  • The Great Tremble: A Psychotherapist's Last Interview (Marie Nelson and Rob Marchesani)

  • Reaping Panic, Reaping Awe: A Conversation Between E. Mark Stern and Rob Marchesani

  • "When Something Says... I Tremble...": An Interview with the Unknown (Timothy Don and Rob Marchesani)

  • Panic: When Fear Goes Wrong (Arthur Anderson)

  • Trembling and Transcendence: Chaos Theory, Panic Attacks, and Awe (Tobi Zausner)

  • Suffering and Its Ambiguities (Kirk J. Schneider)

  • Toward and Existential Model of Panic and Anxiety (Amy C. Matheson and David N. Elkins)

  • Peals of Silence in Humanistic Psychotherapy (Louise Sundararajan)

  • Terror, Numbness, Pain, and Awe: Experiential Personal Constructivism and Panic (L. M. Leitner)

  • Awe and Trembling in Tournament Golf (Steven J. Hendlin)

Special Thanks to
Marie Coleman Nelson, E. Mark Stern and Rob Marchesani.