Before the lecture, I was very nervous. After all, I wasn't sure what to expect; whether I was to give a lengthy monologue or simply answer a few questions towards the end. I was glad to discover that an interview format was chosen since this took allot of pressure off my back, but also left me in the spotlight throughout the hour. This situation proved very flexible and allowed me to discuss many of the issues I wanted to express. I was, of course, worried about a surge of my anxiety levels, but I figured that even if I had a severe attack that would at least treat everyone to a live demonstration. (grin)

As the lecture began, I was asked to explain how my Panic Disorder (PD) began. I explained how I had been a successful professional working on NASA contracts and had enjoyed excellent health. Then I explained how my PD began with a severe attack one day and persisted over the last six years. One point I emphasized was how difficult it was to diagnose the cause of such attacks; how my many visits to specialists and hospitals resulted in a misleading diagnosis of "stress" which was not very helpful. I commented that many of us anxiety-panic sufferers shared this experience.

I also tried to describe the severity of PD. As usual, I commented on my past mountaineering experiences to add credibility to my observations regarding fear. Describing a severe panic attack, I explained that it was worse than facing death; more like facing a horrible death. Furthermore, I explained that such attacks could occur on a daily basis, for many years, and that some of us have actually experienced temporary paralysis or fainted. I think everyone accepted that PD is a disabling disorder that has a severe impact on quality of life.

We also discussed the effectiveness of various therapies. I made sure to comment that individual cases varied allot in regard to psychological and biological factors, and that there is a great diversity in what treatments help for each case. Since our audience had a primarily medical orientation, we spoke mostly about CCK, benzodiazepines, serotonin, SRIs, etc. At one point, Dr. Schweitzer mentioned some research he's doing with regard to identifying CCK mechanisms using PET scans. Perhaps we will one day have some good diagnostic tests for PD.

Briefly, we discussed coping techniques as well. I mentioned laughter/humor as one of our favorites (also mentioning the Amusing Panics web site, of course).

Generally, I was very pleased with the way the lecture went. Everyone seemed to appreciate the seriousness of PD; that it was certainly more serious than simply "stress" or a case of "nerves." As the people I spoke with pursue their medical careers, I'm certain that they will help others with this difficult disorder.

As a final note, I should mention that I invited today's lecture audience to visit ASAP. I know many of us would welcome further discussion and sharing of experiences. So don't be surprised if you see some friendly posts from U. of Penn. med students with an interest in PD.

I think this was a very good day for all of us. Today's lecture helped promote awareness and understanding of PD. As for myself, I felt very good having this opportunity to express many of our common experiences.